Very True (ha ha ha)

I dialed a number and got

the

following recording:

"I am not available right now,

but thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the beep.

If I do not return your call,

you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

At pilot training back in the Air Corps

they taught us,

"Always try to keep

the number of landings equal

to the number of take offs you make."

~~~~~

Little Tommy had been

to

birthday party at a friend's house.

Knowing his sweet tooth,

Tommy's mother looked straight

into his eyes and said,

"I hope you didn't ask

for a second piece of cake."

"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith

for the recipe

so you could make one like it,

and she gave me two more pieces

without asking."

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

~~~~~

My wife and I had words,

but

I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

As my five year old son and I

were headed to McDonald's one day,

we passed a car accident.

Usually when we see something terrible

like that, we say a prayer

for those who might be hurt,

so I pointed and said to my son,

"We should pray."

From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block

the entrance to McDonald's."

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to

find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give

without remembering

and

take without forgetting.

~~~~~

The irony of life is that,

by the time you're old enough

to know your way around,

you're not

going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before woman

so as to give him time

to

think of an answer

for

her first question.

~~~~~

I was always taught

to

respect my elders,

but it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~~~

Every morning

is

the dawn of a new error.

~~~~~

The best computer is man,

and

it's the only one that can be

mass produced

by unskilled labor.